Swallowed Up

In life, you're either Pac-man or the pellets, and
The ghosts are your own demons.

Until the Next Fight

For some reason, this is how it always goes

on days like this. Days like this?

You know the days that you’re sitting at your desk

at work and you wonder if everything is

going to be ok at home?

Because last night was hell.

It usually starts with someone being tired

or angry because of the day’s stresses

and then the other person has had enough.

Enough of the whining,

enough of feeling the negativity

enough of the bitterness and Snap!

We’re off to the couple’s verbal boxing match!

Words are said.

Walls are built.

Trust is destroyed

and neither one can sleep.

So the fighting continues in bed until someone

blows their top and then there’s silence.

Regret meets the first early riser,

which is usually me,

and I wind up on my knees praying for

a miracle of healing to douse smoldering embers

from the night before.

My heart usually repents and finds peace,

but the day remains to be seen.

Will he text?

Will everything be ok?

Until the next fight,

sure it will.  Right?

But the fire is always about the same things

over and over again until someone

accepts the plight that won’t be corrected,

the sin that won’t be repented,

or the pride that won’t be humbled.

Then the pot simmers and slowly dies.

Until the next fight.

Step-Family Sanity

My husband gets to see his children every other weekend and on alternating holidays. They live about an hour's drive away from us and he does his best to also make it to football games, dance recitals, and award ceremonies whenever work and schedules allow. Like any devoted parent, he misses his children to the point of heartache an grieves deeply when he hasn't been able to see them between the two-week-period visits. Seeing this, I've done my best to plan and prepare every needful thing for their visits so everyone can have an enjoyable time together. Not everything always comes off perfectly, though; and, that's to be expected in life in general--not just when dealing with step-families. But for some reason, every little thing that doesn't go according to plan seems to turn into an even bigger issue than it needs to be and we all can become fed up with the whole thing.

Historically, there doesn't seem to be a lot of help out there with regard to step-parenting; but, volumes of resources are emerging in our wonderfully convenient digital age. I bought a book a few years ago about being a step-mother and how to be successful as one, but I felt like it was too much of a cookie-cutter self-help book that was written on a 3rd grade reading level without solid data or realistic examples to back it up.  So, I went to YouTube. There are some great videos on YouTube to help with marriage and step-parenting that have helped me to understand more fully my role as a step-mom. Ron Deal seems to be the largest mover and shaker in the step-family field today. He has some great videos, seminars and conferences that focus on the success of step-families.  His website is  http://thesmartstepfamily.com/index.php  which also has products likes books and DVDs for sale on the site.

Resume Updated

Tina Bishop Crawford

Email: tjcrawford2008@gmail.com

Christina.crawford@washk12.org

Goal: To provide the best possible education for students in Language Arts that will prepare them for College entrance tests, College, and the Work Force through engaging and enthusiastic units of instruction and assessment.

           

Education:

           

            2013- Present – Completing Reading Endorsement Program.

            2011-Present – eNotes.com Educator           

2009-2012 – Master of Education from Southern Utah University.

           

2008-2009 – Received ESL Endorsement.

2005-2006- Graduate Educator’s Licensure Program – Master Credits obtained at Southern Utah University.

           

1994-1999 – BA Degree in English and Political Science from SUU.

           

1990-1994 – Graduate of Cedar High School.

Work History:

            2008-Present -  Pine View Middle School – ESL Coordinator (2 years)      

            2011-Present – eNotes. Educator and Editor

2007-2008  - Pine View High School – English 10^th & 11^th Grade.

2006-2007 – SUCCESS Academy – Honors English 9^th & 10^th .

           

2003-2005 – Self-employed dance teacher in Elko, Nevada

           

2004-2005 – Dance Team Coach for Spring Creek High School, Nevada.

1998-2002 – Legal Secretary for Willard R. Bishop, P.C. and Southern Minnesota Regional Legal Services.

             

Languages:

Slovene and some Spanish.    

Jackie Kennedy

Jackie Kennedy told her new sister-in-law
"Don't worry. Every man cheats."
We must simply keep our chins high
and remember our place.

But Walt Disney taught that if a woman 
is pure, and chaste, and obedient,
her reward would be a handsome prince
and a castle. But that's where the story ends.

My mother taught me, "If he ever hits you,
You leave him immediately. She never
said I could leave if the punches were with
words, so I stayed to honor my vow.

My grandmother taught me that loose
women wore bikinis and that the worst
thing she could think of was to what lengths a woman
had to do in order to wear it without showing
any hair. That was the most deplorable to her!

Other women friends share that having a secret 
credit card account is the best thing they've ever
done. They have to keep up with the mail to
support their deception, but hey! It saves the marriage.

My sister's grandmother-in-law told me that 
women must sacrifice everything to keep the 
marriage in tact for the sake of the children. I
didn't have the heart to ask, "But he doesn't
want to stay, so now what?"

I teach my son to forgive because that is 
the only way to free oneself from bondage,
yet my own home is a prison of fear that 
I create from the shadows of my painful
past--coupled with the injustice of a
husband's deafened ear to equality
and his walled-up heart preserved only
for his little princess.

My son says, "I don't ever want to be
a jerk dad or a jerk husband."

Last Day to Live, Revised

When the blood clot
rose to my lung,
the doctor said,
"Go to the ER now!"
I asked,
"Can't I just go in Monday?"

After being admitted
into the hospital to
thin my blood,
three weeks of
self-administered shots
to the stomach
followed. I
decided I'd rather
die
than keep doing that!

Death, an option?
Score!
I'd gladly go today,
but first,
let me write a few
thank you emails.

I would thank the
Jennifers for all of the laughs,
and loving me through the
drama of teenage-dom!

Thank you to Karen, TC and Patrice
for listening when I'm sure
you didn't want to.

Thanks to all of the dancers,
big, tall, small, and cute,
who brightened each dance
practice with music and
rhythm.

Hvala Lepa, ljudmi
v Sloveniji, za Bridget,
Allison, and Zorica, za
ljubezen, ki ste mi jo delili.

Thank you to Kim
for watching my son
through the divorce years,
and thank you to my parents
for teaching and nurturing me
in the ways of the Lord.

Thank you to my husband,
who saved me from the living
Demon who afflicted me for so long,
and then brought light into my heart
which had been darkened.

And to my son, who bore every
burden with me in the names
of loyalty and love without
failing.

My Wish

I wish
my husband
would wrap me
in his arms
And kiss away
my fears that
are locked up 
in my tears;
But he just says,
"I can't
help you
with that."